Safely Expressing Anger

I just had a noticing
As I was folding laundry with aggressive motions
And tossing the compost out with intense vigor
And roiling and boiling in my mind about my romantic partner not communicating with me the way I wanted today

I realised that I was angry
And internalising it
And thinking of ways to avoid and punish him back

I recently completed a month long immersive experience called “Rage Club,” where we came together multiple times a week to practice consciously connecting to our anger. Today, I felt the utmost gratitude that I had expanded my toolbox in this way.

So I told my nesting partner that I was going to go rage.

I closed my bedroom door and windows and let out the most
honest
angry
FVCK YOU
NO!!!

blast of energy that I’ve ever witnessed from my usually soft, caring, diplomatic self.
I beat my pillow against the bed, screamed into it, banged my fists & shook with the intensity.

After it moved through me, I sat with my mouth closed after, asking myself what my anger was telling me? What information did it have to guide me? What was my anger’s gift in this?

It said…
That I wanted communication
To feel met
To feel prioritised and considered
To be seen in the vulnerable state that I was in

I chose to consciously meet my anger in this moment, without directing it at the person & causing more pain, initiating a fight, or poisoning myself with internalised suffering.

This is the first time I’ve consciously raged without anyone there to guide or meet me in it, simply because it’s what I needed to do.

***

This process allowed me to clarify my desires & boundaries, creating space in me to communicate with my romantic partner, who was also then able to meet me in a place of repair & care.

I want to share these tools with the world. I want to help uplift our collective communication & emotional processing skills.

I’m choosing to bravely step up and hold spaces in the world for authenticity, vulnerability & real honest expression, all with a focus on consent & safety.

Will you join me?

Intimate Conversations Workshop #1
Wednesday July 9th, 6-7:30pm
Central City, Christchurch

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